Lost Loss Lose

Good news , tml would be my last paper for the trimester. I am worried and lost now, things changed,people changed, guess i have never learnt lesson on "the only constant is changed". sometimes i just wish i never existed, lesser pain for others, lesser ... trying my best to accept how things have evolve to where they are now, but i guess i have fall back to the pit that i took so long to climbed out from. I'm tired, i wish i could just let go, ignore everything everyone and evaporate away. All these responsibilities is heavy, but it is all the after effect emotions of people that is still around which i couldn't let go. When can i really rest? What is enough? How much is sufficient? Is it really so much to ask to go back to how it was? I really don't know what else i can do. Happy? Really? So much things i wish to say, but i know its not the right time and till the day i guess i just have to keep it with me. How easy to say to let go. WAKE UP Felix! You are all alone by yourself again. Remember to stay this way cause when you get yourself out of the pit again , you never want to go through all these feelings again. I couldn't handle it anymore, I just wish that one day you would know and understand, what i have chose to do the intention is never bad, i might be stupid to do the way i do now but i rather keep things and suffer myself than seeing the people who i care and concern about suffer. Maybe i just bothered too much, maybe one day if you seen this you could tell me ... but i guess maybe not bah... Good night I'll just focus on my paper for tml, now...