Somewhere in my Heart and Mind

No matter what happen, you will always be the family i have. nothing i express how much gratitude i had to you, i just hope one day you would actually understand my intention was just deriving from me keeping you out from things that will not end well. i treasure you like my family member, i just don't want you to end up hurting yourself. it doesn't matter how i will end up, i rather keep things from you to keep you happy than letting you know and you be sad. at the end of the day i guess the only thing i can do for you is to leave and stay away from your life,but i will always be there if you ever need me. i don't know if you will ever find this but i just hope you will understand you will always hold a position within me as a important person in my life journey. Thank you and i really hope you will be happy, please take care of yourself. Hao

Walk Alone

The pain when the person you care and concern for mark you as nonsense and not been subjective

Lost Loss Lose

Good news , tml would be my last paper for the trimester. I am worried and lost now, things changed,people changed, guess i have never learnt lesson on "the only constant is changed". sometimes i just wish i never existed, lesser pain for others, lesser ... trying my best to accept how things have evolve to where they are now, but i guess i have fall back to the pit that i took so long to climbed out from. I'm tired, i wish i could just let go, ignore everything everyone and evaporate away. All these responsibilities is heavy, but it is all the after effect emotions of people that is still around which i couldn't let go. When can i really rest? What is enough? How much is sufficient? Is it really so much to ask to go back to how it was? I really don't know what else i can do. Happy? Really? So much things i wish to say, but i know its not the right time and till the day i guess i just have to keep it with me. How easy to say to let go. WAKE UP Felix! You are all alone by yourself again. Remember to stay this way cause when you get yourself out of the pit again , you never want to go through all these feelings again. I couldn't handle it anymore, I just wish that one day you would know and understand, what i have chose to do the intention is never bad, i might be stupid to do the way i do now but i rather keep things and suffer myself than seeing the people who i care and concern about suffer. Maybe i just bothered too much, maybe one day if you seen this you could tell me ... but i guess maybe not bah... Good night I'll just focus on my paper for tml, now...

Reset of my life

Just when I though I had everything, I had a new person in my life who I can really freely share everything I had, I lost it. Maybe it is just my fate that I have to be alone, time for me to wake up the damn idea. I'm sorry that I had to put you into this state, forgive me you will always hold a important place somewhere in my mind and heart. I really wish I can help you to fulfill your dreams and the unknown thing that you want it to happen. I know you are pissed with me for not telling you, if you really understand me you will know the intention was always taking to you as my priority. I wish I could tell you, but I think it will hurt you more then just being angry with me for whatever silly action that you think I am behaving. I will move on alone and I just hope the future path for you could be a happier and smoother one, if I ever not being able to fulfill my promise to you please forgive me, I just wish I had the fate in our next life if I couldn't.

Maybe

maybe. right person at the wrong time.